“The Last Temptation of Ginger”
On the rooftop, Satan sighed. By contract, he had to do this with anyone claiming godhood, but this was getting ridiculous. “Ginger,” he said, “if you’re God, throw yourself from the rooftop.”
The feline washed her paws.
“You’ve got to pick one. Either jump or refuse,” Satan explained.
Ginger ignored him. She never followed directions.
Satan glanced surreptitiously at the sky, then produced a laser pointer. Ginger leaped after the red dot. “MRRRRRROOOoooooowwww!” She plummeted twenty storeys down.
Satan chuckled. “Works every time.”
But behind him, he heard a sound. A meow. He turned. His eyes widened. “Oh my God!”
Today I’m taking a break from the medical-themed pieces to bring you this little story, written for the Drabblecast’s weekly microfiction contest. The theme was “Test of Faith”, and this is what I came up with.
Cats, as we all know, believe they’re divine. Given the sheer number of cats in the world, the odds are that for one cat out there, it’s got to be a fact and not just narcissism. The test of faith is not the cat’s; the cat already knows it’s divine. It’s poor Beelzebub who must confront his own presuppositions.
Then again, maybe cats are just really, really good at throwing themselves off of rooftops. Satan needs a new litmus test.
Having tested the patience of the divine with that nasty laser pointer trick, I have to wonder what happens next. What do you think the punishment’s going to be? More importantly, has anyone else’s cat performed a miracle or two that we should all know about?