Medical Microfiction: Terminologia Anatomica

Dr. Howell tapped twice on a white band of ligament, directing his students’ attention to the cadaver’s belly. “The abdominal aponeurosis. Covers the rectus abdominis and compresses the viscera.”

Pencils scribbled. Heads bobbed.

“Moving on… Larry, switch to a deep view, please.”

“Sure thing, Doc!” With both hands the cadaver wrenched back another layer of muscle, exposing his innards.

“Note the positions of the internal viscera,” Dr. Howell continued. “The large intestine is especially good eating on a live human. People make a big deal out of the brains, but I say go straight for the guts. Less competition.’

————————————————————————————————–

Steaks on a grill
Your organs from a zombie’s perspective.

I think lots of people could benefit from learning more about human anatomy – I’m writing this blog, after all! – but no one could benefit more than our friends the zombies. I mean, if you’re going to spend your days hunting down tasty, tasty humans, you could save yourself a lot of time and effort on the eating if you know how to bypass that pesky ribcage to get to the tasty bits within.

Terminologia Anatomica, which literally means “Anatomical Terminology,” is the book that sets the international standards for medical terminology. It’s where many of the definitions on this blog came from. This illustrious volume was published in 1998, and has allowed countless students, medical professionals, and amateur writers to confuse the general public when we say things like, “Serratus anterior’s assisting the external intercostals in respiration by forcing air through the larynx and causing the vocal folds to oscillate, producing phonation.”

Yeah. We talk real good.

Happy Friday, wherever and whenever this finds you! It’s been a good week here in the Jones household, as my mother-in-law received a long-awaited kidney transplant just two days ago and is recovering nicely. Organ donation saves lives, folks, and if you’re not already a donor, I’d encourage you to join up.

Otherwise, the zombies’ll get you.

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6 thoughts on “Medical Microfiction: Terminologia Anatomica

  1. Could be a bunch of humans discussing a chicken, pig, lamb – or a hundred other animals we routinely eat.

    Wonder how the feed animal feel, say a porker led through the slaughter house, passing all those ‘stuff’ hanging from meat hooks.

    1. Insightful as always, Eric. I’ve wondered myself what it means to view a body of any sort (animal or human) as a collection of cuts of meat for eating. Part of the horror of zombies is having that attitude turned on our own bodies.

  2. I stopped by your blog due to a recommendation on this story, which is hilarious. How do I love this micro fiction…let me count the ways.
    That the cadaver pulls back his own musculature was a great and unexpected segue into the realization that they are zombies 🙂

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