Tag Archives: Game of Thrones

Motley Microfiction: George’s Id

“I think we all owe each other an apology,” ventures the knight in lion livery. “I’ll start: I’m very sorry for telling nasty lies about my friends.”

“I’m sorry too,” says the boy king with the stag banner. “I had trouble sharing.”

The dragon-mounted warrior woman adds, “I forgive you all for trying to steal my throne.”

“We’re all to blame,” says a grizzled lord in wolfskins,“but we’ve finally learned the true meaning of friendship. Now who wants a hug?”

George Martin awoke fighting against the sheets entwining him. “Just a nightmare,” he repeated in the darkness, “a nightmare.”

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English: George R.R. Martin signing books in a...
English: George R.R. Martin signing books in a bookstore in Ljubljana, Slovenia. Slovenščina: George R.R. Martin med podpisovanjem knjig v ljubljanski knjigarni. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today’s story is best appreciated if you watch the Game of Thrones series or read the books they’re based upon, by George R. R. Martin. For the uninitiated, Martin as an author is known for ruthlessly killing off characters in spades, even beloved fan favorites. It’s an ongoing joke that no one’s safe in his series. Anyone can die, at any time, even for pointless and unsatisfying reasons.

And yet, we keep coming back for more.

I got to thinking what such a man’s id (the deep, suppressed part of his mind) must be like. Obviously all the violence and sex are on parade in Martin’s books, so that must mean that inside his deepest, darkest soul, he’s keeping something even scarier locked up. I propose that the “something” is a deep desire to write children’s stories where everyone learns the meaning of friendship and shares their toys.

These are the things that terrify a man like George R. R. Martin.

Yes, that’s right. You and I may have nightmares about falling, or spiders. Personally, I have a recurring nightmare involving zombies. But not our friend George.

Poor George.

Any other Game of Thrones / Song of Ice and Fire fans out there?

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Medical Microfiction: Brachymelia

Pseudosaurus

They’d spent generations cultivating human media to ensure their welcome. When they invaded, the humans would greet them as familiar friends and worship their new tyrants.

First, they introduced the hack novelist who wrote about cloning. Then the Hollywood blockbuster based on his book. That cartoon about the adorable brachiosaurus had been a stroke of genius.

But today’s headline ruined everything: EXPERTS SAY DINOSAURS HAD FEATHERS.

Aboard the mothership, the alien commander fumed. Undone by feathers!

“Orders, sir?” asked his subordinate.

The commander gestured with stumpy arms. “Bring me superglue and a feather pillow. I’ll need help reaching my back.”

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T-Rex
T-Rex (Photo credit: mcdlttx)

Brachymelia means having unusually short arms. Y’know, like a T-rex! Brachymelia explains why the alien commander’s gonna need a little help feathering his back in order to carry out his plot of cultural and actual invasion.

I like to think that even if actual Earth dinosaurs had feathers, somewhere out in the universe there’s got to be another species that resembles the scaly dinosaurs that Michael Crichton and Steven Spielberg promised us. Unfortunately, it’s always possible that said aliens have bad intentions, and that our dinosaur-loving media is all just a ploy to lower our defenses against our dinosaur overlords.

Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister.

Humans can have brachymelia too. In particular, it’s associated with achondroplastic dwarfism (also called achondroplasia), a form of dwarfism where a person’s head and torso grow to normal adult proportions, but the person’s limbs are shorter than average. The talented actor Peter Dinklage, who plays the badass Tyrion on Game of Thrones, exhibits achondroplastic dwarfism.

So how does the limb-shortness come about? Achondroplasia literally means “without cartilage development.” Bones (particularly the long bones of the arms and legs) usually grow in length during puberty via a process where cartilage is added to the growth zone of a bone. The cartilage is gradually converted into new bone, resulting in the arms and legs lengthening. People with achondroplasia have a genetic mutation that inhibits this process.

Now on to a more important question. Who would win in a fight between a T-rex and Tyrion Lannister?